As New Ones Can Come Along
With this being mental health awareness week, it gives me time to reflect on my own mental health and the progress I’ve made. Seeing the stories that others have shared and articles that I’ve read, one thing I’ve noticed pop up time and time again is friendships. Reflecting on friendships, to be honest, in the past was something I never really did. But I think it’s something we all need to do more often, as we need to start being less afraid of cutting people out our lives that aren’t having a positive impact on our lives. It can be hard to deal with this prospect when our insecurities are already at a all time low. So how can you tell the difference between a genuine friend and just a ‘friend’?
What should friendships look like? Well unfortunately there is no specific answer to this question. But you should identify the qualities you want from a friendship to make answering this question easier. Friends (apart from family) should be the people you can rely on when times are tough, or when you are in need of a shopping trip or you want a cozy night in with a take out and cheesy rom-coms. For me making that quick and easy connection is good sign that things will work out and you’ll create a strong friendship. Because, just like relationships your friendships should be carefree in the early days as, you are just getting to know one another and judging their character. It’s further along in a friendship that you can start to see the cracks emerge.
As we manoeuvre our way through life we find it’s hard to keep some friendships together or simply friends drift away. Sometimes that’s just natural, we can become very different people as we are growing up. But unfortunately we can also find ourselves with friends that drag us along from behind and don’t really put our feelings into consideration. And it is those friendships that we to start asking ourselves ‘is it worth it?’ During my teen years I remember watching programmes like Gossip Girl and Sex and the City and wishing I had these strong friendship groups like Serena and Blair, and Carrie and the girls. But then those are scripted dramas, where they make friendships look as easy as watching the programmes themselves. To be honest it’s not bad a thing to compare some of your friendships against something you inspire to have. It can help you determine whether your friendship is a healthy one or not.
Although I know first hand what it’s like to have friendships were I’ve felt left behind or our break down is my fault. I have been extremely lucky to have also found friends that have made my life so much better and happy. Some of the qualities I love my friends for is their support, motivation, comfort and just good old laughable times! That’s one reason why I’ve included these photos is my post, they are my scrap book memories of all the fun times I’ve had with them this year. And look forward to many more!
One thing you must not do is think this is a really nasty thing to go. You can not force yourself to be in a situation that makes you unhappy. You would not stay in a job that you hated getting up in the morning for, you would not stay in a relationship that was no longer working. So why would you stay friends with someone who made you unhappy? Just remember as one door closes, another opens. Focus on the people who have a positive impact in your life so that you can have a positive mind. Many people will walk into your life and you will be spoiled for choice.
Let me hear from you, what qualities do you look for in a friend?